What is Stability?
Security?
Safety?

Where is trust and faith?
Truly, the world around me is sinking sand – but where is the rock?
Where are the fruits of the spirit? The kindness and joy of faith?

I came here hoping to find a rock to stand upon, but I’m feeling crushed at the moment. I forsee only pain, strife and insecurity – there will be no stability. Rather, I will have only the stress of tumultuous and accident prone living. I hope I am wrong, but I simply see no end to work without profit, pain without gain and the dull ache of nagging fear for my family.

Naked Pastor recently wrote about the thin line of purity, but I feel that when I attempt to stand in that line I corrupt it and it am left feeling battered.

The clock ticks and I am too exhausted to move… yet everything seems to depend upon me. Whom shall I depend upon – God? I am so worn and broken. Maybe God could unpack my apartment, do my job interview, spot me a few thousand bucks so that I can pay another month or two of rent and find me a cheap parking place in center city?

Today, stability seems like an elusive myth, a fairy tale, and a carrot that taunts every breath, movement and decision.

Sorry for the brain farts folks. Stinkiness happens.

Update: Lo I depart unto the land of “Center City” to interview on the 19th floor of a Corporate Banking firm…. well, going there will be interesting. It will be very interesting if they consider me for the position. Oh, and on the way to the center, I must go unto the area CVS for hose (I couldn’t find mine). The adventure continues….